Jack Bauer
Posted: Thu Aug 10, 2006 9:27 am
I've tried to clean this up but I hope most ppl still havea sense of humor particularly since that kn*b count henri has f**ked off
Why Jack Bauer is a double hard b*stard
1. If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called "12".
2. 1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.
3. When Kim Bauer lost her virginity, Jack Bauer found it and put it back.
4. It's no use crying over spilt milk... Unless that was Jack Bauer's milk. Oh you are so screwed.
5. Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men.
6. Jack Bauer could strangle you with a cordless phone.
7. In 96 hours, Jack Bauer has killed 93 people and saved the world 4 times. What the f*ck have you done with your life?
8. Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says something then you better f*cking do it.
9. Jack Bauer arm once wrestled Superman. The stipulations were the loser had to wear his underwear on the outside of his pants.
10. Jesus died and rose from the dead in 3 days. It took Jack Bauer less than an hour. And he's done it twice.
11. Jack Bauer is the 'i' in team
12. Jack Bauer once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
13. Finding Nemo would have been vastly more exciting had Jack Bauer been looking for him.
14. When Jack Bauer pissses into the wind, the wind changes direction.
Why Jack Bauer is a double hard b*stard
1. If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called "12".
2. 1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.
3. When Kim Bauer lost her virginity, Jack Bauer found it and put it back.
4. It's no use crying over spilt milk... Unless that was Jack Bauer's milk. Oh you are so screwed.
5. Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men.
6. Jack Bauer could strangle you with a cordless phone.
7. In 96 hours, Jack Bauer has killed 93 people and saved the world 4 times. What the f*ck have you done with your life?
8. Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says something then you better f*cking do it.
9. Jack Bauer arm once wrestled Superman. The stipulations were the loser had to wear his underwear on the outside of his pants.
10. Jesus died and rose from the dead in 3 days. It took Jack Bauer less than an hour. And he's done it twice.
11. Jack Bauer is the 'i' in team
12. Jack Bauer once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
13. Finding Nemo would have been vastly more exciting had Jack Bauer been looking for him.
14. When Jack Bauer pissses into the wind, the wind changes direction.
