Jack Bauer

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Lowebb
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Jack Bauer

Post by Lowebb » Thu Aug 10, 2006 9:27 am

I've tried to clean this up but I hope most ppl still havea sense of humor particularly since that kn*b count henri has f**ked off

Why Jack Bauer is a double hard b*stard

1. If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called "12".

2. 1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.

3. When Kim Bauer lost her virginity, Jack Bauer found it and put it back.

4. It's no use crying over spilt milk... Unless that was Jack Bauer's milk. Oh you are so screwed.

5. Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men.

6. Jack Bauer could strangle you with a cordless phone.

7. In 96 hours, Jack Bauer has killed 93 people and saved the world 4 times. What the f*ck have you done with your life?

8. Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says something then you better f*cking do it.

9. Jack Bauer arm once wrestled Superman. The stipulations were the loser had to wear his underwear on the outside of his pants.

10. Jesus died and rose from the dead in 3 days. It took Jack Bauer less than an hour. And he's done it twice.

11. Jack Bauer is the 'i' in team

12. Jack Bauer once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

13. Finding Nemo would have been vastly more exciting had Jack Bauer been looking for him.

14. When Jack Bauer pissses into the wind, the wind changes direction.

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Aussie Gaz
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Post by Aussie Gaz » Thu Aug 10, 2006 10:03 am

Who the F**K is Jack Bauer ?

Is this some silly f**king Irish joke?

:wink:

ps no offence intended (especially to the Irish and the IRA and Jack Bauer obviously)

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Lowebb
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Post by Lowebb » Thu Aug 10, 2006 12:24 pm

Gaz come on!!!!! You've never watched the TV show '24' starring Keifer Sutherland as 'Jack Bauer'?

Dear god what is the world coming to? Everyone must atleast watch 1 season of 24 before any judgement can be passed

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Post by Hryllantre » Thu Aug 10, 2006 3:03 pm

You survived a season!!!

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Saladin
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Post by Saladin » Thu Aug 10, 2006 7:51 pm

Since when is Keifer Sutherland cool. He's even less cool than John Travolta. :P

24 is pretty dire to watch, but then again so are all those other 'cop' shows like csi.
"Never attribute to malice what can satisfactorily be explained away by stupidity."

"To speak ill of others is a dishonest way of praising ourselves."

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Lowebb
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Post by Lowebb » Fri Aug 11, 2006 12:07 am

oh my god, what losers,

granted the first season was the best but for quality entertainment 24 is up there with the best, but then again I dont get the shopping channels but hey whatever floats your boat saladin, you certainly fight like a girl

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Aussie Gaz
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Post by Aussie Gaz » Fri Aug 11, 2006 10:05 am

Lowebb

Next you will be saying you like "Lost". :shock:

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Saladin
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Post by Saladin » Fri Aug 11, 2006 11:08 am

Lowebb wrote:you certainly fight like a girl
Now that's hurtful...true, but hurtful. :cry:
"Never attribute to malice what can satisfactorily be explained away by stupidity."

"To speak ill of others is a dishonest way of praising ourselves."

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Post by Duke » Sat Aug 12, 2006 7:21 am

Just want to state for the record that I watched 24 until Jack shot his boss and I think that Lost is one of the best showes ever made!!
First one here, last one to leave.

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Post by Saladin » Sat Aug 12, 2006 11:24 am

Yeah Lost is quite entertaining i have to say. I'd wish they'd start with season 3 soon though.
"Never attribute to malice what can satisfactorily be explained away by stupidity."

"To speak ill of others is a dishonest way of praising ourselves."

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Post by Lowebb » Sat Aug 12, 2006 12:46 pm

speaking of double hard b**tards, whose the cutie in your avator Duke :)

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