Mathematician is someone who knows that if three people walk into an empty room and five people walk out, then two more people need to walk in to the room to make it empty again.
Clearly if it were the real me, I'd be the president.
"A Knight is sworn to valor, his heart knows only virtue, his blade defends the helpless, his might upholds the weak, his word speaks only truth, his wrath outdoes the wicked."