No jokes long time !
1.- How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?
One hundred. One to change the bulb and ninety-nine to say, "I could have done it."
2.- How many surrealist does it take to change a light bulb?
A fish. (a fist. You understand, don’t you?)
3.- How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, and there’s nothing funny about it.
4.- How many Microsoft employees does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They’ll just declare darkness the new standard.
5.- How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just one, but the lightbulb has to want to be changed.
How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
What do you think?
6.- How many video editors does it take to change a lightbulb?
They can change it for you, but it’s not gonna look any better.
7.- How many Irishmen does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two. One to hold the lightbulb, and the other to drink until the room spins.
8.- How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two. The trick is getting them in there.
9.- And how many cats?
Wait. Wait a minute! This was a foolish question. Do you think that cats, having an excellent night vision are gonna waste their time in those things.
10.- How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Only one, but it can take to her about ten years. Twenty years if a second blonde is giving her opinion. Thirty years if they are three, and so on.
How many forum members does it take to change a light bulb?
1 to change the light bulb and 1 to post that the light bulb has been changed.
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.
27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.
53 to flame the spell checkers.
41 to correct spelling/grammar flames.
6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb".
... another 6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive.
2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp".
15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct.
156 to email the participant's ISPs complaining that they are in
violation of their "acceptable use policy".
109 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum.
203 to demand that cross posting to hardware forum, off-topic forum, and lightbulb forum about changing light bulbs be stopped.
111 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum .
306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty.
27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs.
14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's.
3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group.
33 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too".
12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy.
19 to quote the "Me too's" to say "Me three".
4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ.
44 to ask what is a "FAQ".
4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"
143 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs".
1 new forum member to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again.