Three cries for help

Post by **Duke** » Thu Jul 22, 2004 9:37 am

I've been known to consult the general assembly of nutters that is the community of wok in different matters. The reason for this is that I've actually gotten the answers for my questions every time.

So here are two new ones for you.

1. Freaky math

I am selling cleaning machines. Most of them have round pads that scrubs the floor but now I have come across a sort of unusual kind with oval pads (whatever that is good for?) It has other benefits however so I will have to live with the oval pads but I need to re-build it somewhat to fit the customers needs. So I've tried to see what area the oval pads needs to move. You see the dont only spin, the entire thing that holds them moves as well in an eight shaped figure. I dont want to put something too close to them since they will then rotate right into it.

So I asked our product manager and he gave me a formula and said that this should solve it for you. He is an Italian and I dont know if he is joking or for real with this stuff and he is way up there with the bosses so I dont want to sound stupid and not recognize a joke or even worse, take his serious answer as a joke and reply "haha, good one. Now give me the REAL answer".

The formula is this:

E - e sin(E) = M

E is the eccentric anomaly;
e is the eccentricity of the motion;
M is the mean anomaly,
2πt/T (t is the time since periapse,
T is the period of the motion).

What? anomaly? periapse? It is a friggin scrubber. I've barely got a high school diploma for cryin out loud.

Is he taking me on a little ride here or is this what I am suppoused to use to figure out the surface the scrubber pads need to move on?

2. Home surgery

lol, yes I know that this is a bit pweeheee out there but the more I have thought of it the more it makes sense. Here me out here

I was out running a few weeks ago and on that evening my knee got swallen (sp?) and hurt. I checked it out and the doc said that it is an inflammation and it has caused some fluid build-up. It will eventually go away by itself but it will take a long while. The alternative is to drain the knee and it will go over in a week or two. *smiles* sooo, I've checked the net and pretty sure knows how it is done. Easy peicy, you stick a needle at the right spot and suck those babies out of the knee. No stiches no nothing. Do I really need to pay some rich doctor a whole lot of cash to do that? Or should I sit it out?

I know, the automatic response is DONT GO THERE!! But think about it. It is just a tiny needle. It's not like I could suck the kneecap right out. What could happend?

Post by **Duke** » Thu Jul 22, 2004 9:41 am

I just noticed that one letter (or what it is) didnt come out right

2πt/T (t is the time since periapse

It should be 2 followed by some little greek letter that looks sort of like an "n" and then the little t.

Like this: 2nt/T

Mullog, get that greek alphabet in here!

Post by **Egbert** » Thu Jul 22, 2004 12:39 pm

Duke, you always have the greatest posts!

I will leave the mathematics formula for the Oxford guys to handle. If I had to guess, though, I would guess that it is a joke, because I would expect the formula to be much longer, where it involves spinning and a figure 8.

As for the surgery, I would say "go for it," but only if it is very expensive to have the doctor do it. There are lots of times that sickness, etc. is cured by "home remedies," without the need for a doctor. If it doesn't work, you can see the doctor afterwards anyway. Don't forget to sterilize the needle!

Post by **Duke** » Thu Jul 22, 2004 12:44 pm

Thanks Eg.

About the surgery. What I am wondering about is, will it hurt? I figure that if I put some ice on it I wont feel the needle sting but sucking fluids out of me? Now that has to hurt. Dont know if I am quite up for that part. Maybe after a few Carlings?

Post by **Lardmaster** » Thu Jul 22, 2004 1:41 pm

Maths ain't my strong point but I have dodgy knees and I would leave all to the docs. Knees are complicated things and if you stick the needle in the wrong place then you could end up in a whole world of trouble.

Tell you what Dukie, come over to the UK and you can pretend to be me and get the whole thing done free on the National Health Service.

Post by **Lardmaster** » Thu Jul 22, 2004 1:46 pm

Just noticed too Duke, you must be really bad at maths as I'm sure there are only 2 cries for help in your post

Saladin · Post by **Saladin** » Thu Jul 22, 2004 2:58 pm

I agree with LM. If you stick it in wrongly you can damage your kneecaps and you might create an internal wound, which seeps blood and you'll make it even worse.

BTW aren't you insured for this? I thought Swedes have great health care?

Post by **ThinKing** » Thu Jul 22, 2004 4:04 pm

Duke wrote:About the surgery. What I am wondering about is, will it hurt? I figure that if I put some ice on it I wont feel the needle sting but sucking fluids out of me? Now that has to hurt. Dont know if I am quite up for that part. Maybe after a few Carlings?

Stop being such a girl !

You dont have to suck out the fluids... they should just sort of "bleed" out.

Post by **Donut** » Thu Jul 22, 2004 7:58 pm

HAHA... you remind me of my roomate whos remedy to an ulcer is to continue drinking every night

GO TO THE DOCTOR!!!

For the math. We need more info. What area (on the floor or other)? If it's on the floor, just find the max points that it goes to on the 8 shape and the width. Other than that I have no idea what an anomaly is or periapse. I've had a good deal of math, and never heard of either (Translation maybe?). I think you're only hope is Korexus, the Math major.

Also, I spend my entire day during the summer scrubbing floors and I can't imagine the benefits to an oval pad moving in a complicated motion. It seems like it would be pretty shaky and unstable. Why are they trying to reinvent the wheel?

Donut

Post by **Duke** » Fri Jul 23, 2004 5:35 am

We do have good health care if you look at it from an economic view. It wouldnt cost me all that much if I waited in line. Although that line is approx. 9 months and people with "real" injuries gets to cut ahead. The natural healing process is only 3-4 months so no point getting in line. I could get a private doctor to do it but that is when the money comes into play.

I have thought about what you are saying (puncturing things) but the knee is only so big. There isnt much places to stick the needle so I cant see how I can go wrong. I tried to sort of "put me in the zone" to do it but freaked out by the shere thought alone so I dont think this will happend. It is one thing to like cut yourself or rip a bandaid off. That can be done in a fast motion. This takes time and I came to the conclusion that you need to be REALLY crazy to be able to maintain calm during the entire thing. I am getting the creeps by simply writing about it. *shudders*

Wouldnt want to get "dodgy knees" now would I? Are those old war wounds by the way? *picturing LM to be the old Major from Fawlty Towers*

The math thing. So it is freaky, it isnt just me then? Well, hopefully Korexus notice this post and bring some light into the matter during next week while I'm away.

Donut: Yes, the oval pads and the 8-motion is totally unnecessary. Why someone would build a thing like that? Dont know, you tell me. It is American.

I would laugh at it and throw it away if it wasnt for the speed those babies comes up to. 1400 rpm. Now that is good. When it is running it looks like something built in hell to charge right into the Vatican with.

Post by **gm_al** » Fri Jul 23, 2004 8:50 am

I guess its purpose is then to just look veeery complicated and therefore sophisticated. Its not what it does or how it does it - its more what people BELIEVE it does.

Post by **Hannibal** » Sun Jul 25, 2004 3:12 am

1) Easy as pi - that funny Greek letter is pi, area of a circle and all that.

Until the Oxford crew return, stall him with "Surely I need the Maximum anomaly and not the mean?" Should work both ways.....serious question or continuation of the joke!!

2) Easy as pie. Let your knee get better on its own. Play WOK and save the money.

~ Han

Post by **korexus** » Sun Jul 25, 2004 11:33 am

Hi, I'm back from holidays now, nice to see you guys have so much faith in me. (No one tell them what grade I got this year!)

It sounds like the easiest way to do this is not by any complicated formula at all, however much fun that way may be.

Firstly measure the maximum distance any part of the pad can be from its pivot (probably half the length of the oval) then imagine that the oval is sticking out while at one of the corners of the octogon. That is the furthest distance any bit of the pad can be from the center of your gizmo (half length of oval plus half width of octogon) again there is a multitude of formulae for working that out, but there is also an object known as a ruler which doesn't go wrong as often!

Hope that helps. If it doesn't, could you draw a little diagram as I obviously misunderstood something...

korexus.

Post by **Duke** » Sat Jul 31, 2004 6:27 am

So what we can note down here is that not even Oxford knows the wierd formula. I did solve the mystery in a "working class style".

I drew chalk (sp?) on the pads and let them go nuts on the pavement. Then I measured the white area.

I will let the knee heal out. I dont have the guts that it takes to inflict pain to myself. The mental pain I endure when I get my a** kicked in this game is pain enough.

Post by **korexus** » Mon Aug 02, 2004 11:49 pm

Of course we don't *know* the formula. Learning stuff like that is a waste of time.
However, if you're really curious, we can work it out. I was merely trying to show that doing so is a bit of a waste of time. (As you demonstrated with the chalk...)

As for the knee, I'd say that's a wise choice.

korexus.

Post by **Duke** » Fri Aug 06, 2004 9:42 am

korexus wrote:Of course we don't *know* the formula. Learning stuff like that is a waste of time.
However, if you're really curious, we can work it out. I was merely trying to show that doing so is a bit of a waste of time. (As you demonstrated with the chalk...)

As for the knee, I'd say that's a wise choice.

korexus.

To everyone:

This is a good way of saying "I dont have a clue" but with nicer words.